


Apprentices can't

by ARMEN15



Series: Trilogy [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Awakening, Character Study, F/M, Introspection, The House of Black and White
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 06:29:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21489871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARMEN15/pseuds/ARMEN15
Summary: The sequel of Faceless don't, Arya's POW.In canon until se7, the third part will start after the end of se8
Relationships: Jaqen H'ghar/Arya Stark
Series: Trilogy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1537066
Comments: 7
Kudos: 359





	Apprentices can't

Obey the brothers, respect the rules, perform tasks without complaints: a girl’s life at the House.  
Some are boring, same are silly – Arya has a great spirit of observation and she collects always more than three things whenever she goes out – some are pointless for her purpose, or so she thinks.  
Thinking is the opposite of obeying, a man repeats always.  
She likes a lot to train with her Lorathi master, to learn from him the use of each weapon, the tricks, the differences between daggers, swords and the axe too heavy for her thin frame.  
She wants to be tall and strong like him, but she has flowered and her height is still the same; probably she’ll never be like the sister she was forced to part from in the past.  
Jaqen smiles when the axe falls on the floor and she smiles, too and for a second she glimpses his true eyes - strange, dark brown and deep green at the same time – and his true smile; caught off guard, he leaves the room fast and disappears for two days, then he is back, careful to minimize all physical contacts with his girl.  
Help in the kitchen is requested from each apprentice, so Arya’s not discriminated as a female, but once a week she has to work in a smelly tavern, disguised as an humble maid, to blend with the walls and make herself disappear in the background.  
Ugly and skinny, wearing a stained dress, people are uninterested in her, who looks at a horse face when there are other girls with large bosoms and red lips, all smiles and sweet talk?  
Simple tasks, collect cups and plates, clean the tables and change sheets in the back bedrooms where the sailors lie with the girls.  
There are small holes to peep into, to control the customers aren’t too rough and to refresh the room when they leave.  
Arya witnesses everything: positions, requests, pain, pleasure, true or faked, useless for her revenge.  
What’s the point of wasting time there instead of handling daggers all evening, a more rewarding achievement?  
Once she asks Jaqen the reason and he don’t offer an explanation, while his face reveals a strange sadness.  
She needs her master to push her harder toward perfection, to quicken her apprenticeship: her desire is to become a killing machine like him, to make Jaqen proud of her, like her father was, but she don’t need a father now. Ned Stark is deeply carved in her memories.  
Impatient, and Jaqen sees it inside her and he slows her training, every time.  
More days to clean the bodies or to help Umma in the kitchen. More days at the tavern .  
More days in combat, that’s good, more time spent with the man who gave a coin to a scared brat, a hope of immense value.  
Her efforts are appreciated after she beats other apprentices, taller, heavier, all males.  
She partakes his surveillance time, but she gets two days at the tavern.  
Disappointment.  
And Jaqen’s often away to give the gift, becoming another one in the list of people she misses, the first name not from family; it’s a realization hard to process: anyone who get close to her has to leave, one way or the other.  
Arya grinds her teeth, trains harder with the Handsome man, she’ll find a new teacher, an assassin is like another; they exchange faces, roles, lives. If Jaqen don’t want her, she’ll show him he’s not so important.  
Strong rage, if the Kindly Man reads her face, he’ll sent her away immediately.  
The Handsome Man mocks her, hitting purposely her breasts, pushing her against the wall when she’s disarmed, probing and touching a body that cannot be mistaken for a boy now.  
Women are good to bed, not to fight, he snarls often, female apprentices are a burden, the Lorathi uses her also to warm his bed or is he a fool to waste time with a girl?  
Derision.  
The waif hits her with a stick whenever a precious ingredient for the potions tips, her arms are a series of red marks.  
Hate.  
Jaqen is different, he reads into her, knows how much to push and when it is time to walk together to the harbour. Care.  
A feast at the tavern during the cold season, laughs, wine flows, lots of customers, a long night.  
An arm around her waist, Arya is pulled into a male’s hard lap, she wriggles away, disturbed and pretends to be scared, running into the kitchen.  
The ugliness of the place and the rawness of sex, so different from Sansa’s visions of love and romance.  
She don’t want for herself what her sister dreams of. It’s a cover for the harsh reality she witnesses from the holes: pleasure is for men only, females are forced or simply faking.  
She’s a warrior, skilled with weapons, aware of her own ability, so why a warmth on her cheeka when Jaqen compliments her so?  
When he comes close her heart beats faster, her throat is suddenly dry.  
She's not afraid in front of an enemy, she has killed her first, they celebrated the first gift in front of the Faces: Jaqen cut her finger to draw a little blood and guides her hand over each statue of the Gods. His own hand gets traces of red.  
Faceless are forbidden to feel, so why Jaqen is so kind? During sleepless nights, the questions linger: at which point revenge gives way to something else? What is the new impulse to stay close to him?  
At first, she thinks they are just two doomed people, their bond forged by death. She has nothing to compare to, he’s not a ser like the knights in Sansa’s stories, all white horses and dark hair, travelling to claim a princess.  
But he turns on a new emotion in Arya’s chest, just above the heart; it hurts and it has no name.  
Conflict.  
She wants both, revenge and Jaqen in her life, an impossible dream to achieve.  
Her body hums a new song, her hands discover a virgin land, mirroring the tavern girls, useful after all. Does her sister know what lies behind her fairly tales?  
Still, she refuses to imagine Jaqen’s face when her hands explore, her eyes tight shut, but his face insinuates in the blackness, his pupils are bright and his lips full.  
The more the vision is forced away, the stronger it gets and when she tenses for her release she feels his hands touching her and his face glowing above hers.  
She cannot covet him or get him, in a way or another, a master, a teacher, nothing else he’ll ever be.  
He’s the most valued brother, the best assassin, the order won’t free him and he won't ever leave the order; repetition makes the concept true.  
She is Arya Stark, a true Stark, with duties, it’s a painful decision to part from whom she wants; using his betrayal, killing the Waif, she leaves Jaqen behind, no time for regrets.  
The call of the blood is stronger than the mermaids of desire. Her family pretends she completes their vengeance, she erases the hope to see a man again.

**Author's Note:**

> Arya's pow has a little difference in tone and writing, at first she is different from J's but then their ways gets closer, like their bond.


End file.
